It’s only normal to make a few mistakes in your relationship. I do not doubt that you are making a few mistakes that are causing the cracks to start to show in your relationship. But, if you find yourself making these unhealthy relationship behaviors too often, then you might be heading for trouble. This story will look at the four unhealthy relationship behaviors that most couples share.
Unhealthy Relationship Behavior #1: Needing Constant Reassurance
It is entirely natural to want reassurance that the person you are with loves you, that they want to be with you, and that they will not leave you. It is also completely natural to want that reassurance as much as you want to breathe.
In a healthy relationship, you won’t be demanding constant reassurance from your partner, but in an unhealthy relationship, that’s what you’ll be doing. The problem with doing that is that your partner will feel like they are on the hot seat, and they will probably start to shut down.
Instead, try to calm down and take a step back to assess the situation. If you find that you’re constantly demanding reassurance, it’s probably because you’ve got some insecurity issues you should work on.
Unhealthy Relationship Behavior #2: Giving Relationship Advice
Every couple has their problems. But when people are in a relationship, they often feel they can’t help but give their partner relationship advice. Whether it’s telling them what you think they should do or trying to help them figure things out, it’s important to remember that it’s not your job to fix your partner but to love and be there for them.
If your partner comes to you with a concern, don’t make it your issue to “fix” or “resolve.” Many times, a relationship becomes toxic because one partner feels like they have to save the other.
Being helpful is one thing, but if you feel like you’re the only one doing the work in your relationship, you’re probably in a bad place.
Unhealthy Relationship Behavior #3: Unable to Identify, Express, and Manage Your Feelings
Identifying, expressing, and managing your feelings is one of the most crucial relationship activities. It’s the glue that holds together all of the other related behaviors.
If you cannot identify what you feel, express it, and manage it, you’re likely to cycle through the other three unhealthy relationship behaviors at an accelerated rate. It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship if you cannot identify, express, and manage your feelings.
If you can’t identify your feelings, you’re not going to be able to communicate them to your partner. If you don’t communicate your feelings, how can you expect your partner to know how to support you?
If you don’t know what to do with your feelings, you’re going to act on them in a negative way, which will push your partner away.
Unhealthy Relationship Behavior #4: Putting Down Your Partner
The fourth unhealthy relationship behavior that most couples share is putting down your partner. Almost all couples are guilty of this one in some way. We all know the feeling of putting down our partner out loud.
Whether it’s complaining about our partner’s job, family, friends, or appearance, we’ve all done it at one point or another. The most important thing to remember is that this behavior is harmful to your relationship.
Putting down your partner makes it seem like you’re doing it for their good, but the truth is you’re doing it for yourself.
You’re doing it to make yourself feel better about your relationship and your partner’s shortcomings. This behavior can lead to a lack of respect for your partner.
Last words
The 4 unhealthy relationship behaviors are all too common in relationships, but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate them.
We all have different ideas about what makes a good relationship. But when you look at it from an unbiased perspective, you can see that some behaviors are unhealthy for any relationship. All couples want to be accepted for who they are, for example.
And most couples want to feel loved. So if you’re in a relationship that’s overall a good situation, try to think about how you can improve the relationship by working on unhealthy behaviors.
It’s also good to remember that it’s OK to take a break from a relationship that isn’t healthy for you. You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel good about who you are.