5 Dark Truths Behind the Dreaded Narcissist Discard
Unspoken truths about narcissists’ powerful tactics
Photo by Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash
This Discard phase is often when a narcissist leaves you and can be a confusing and painful time. The narcissist will often tell you all that’s wrong with you and why you’re not good relationship material. They may also play the field or return to one of their exes during this time.
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions after being discarded by a narcissist, including confusion, loneliness, and even self-doubt. You may wonder what you did wrong and why things ended so abruptly. You may also feel like you’re going crazy. This is all completely normal.
But there are certain aspects of the discard phase that aren’t often talked about. Here, we’ll explore five dark truths behind this dreaded stage in a relationship with a narcissist.
1. The discard phase is not an accident or random event.
Contrary to what some people may believe, the discard phase isn’t just something that happens by chance. Rather, it’s a deliberate tactic used by narcissists to control and manipulate their victims.
By ending the relationship suddenly and without explanation, they’re able to leave you reeling and questioning everything about yourself and your relationship.
The narcissist views you as nothing more than an object to be used and discarded at will. They have little regard for your feelings or needs and see you merely as a source of narcissistic supply to meet their own needs and desires.
2. It’s all part of their manipulative tactics.
In addition to leaving you reeling from the sudden end of your relationship, the discard phase is also designed to manipulate and control you.
Narcissists know that if they can convince you that something is your fault, you’re more likely to try to please them and win their approval.
You are likely experiencing a severe form of cognitive dissonance, where your idealized image of the narcissist is in stark contrast with how they actually treat you in real life.
This can cause feelings of confusion and betrayal, as well as anger and resentment towards yourself for staying in such a toxic relationship.
The narcissist will often use the discard phase as a way to gaslight and manipulate you into believing that you are the one at fault for the relationship problems. They will twist your words and actions, making you doubt your own sanity and reality.
3. The discard phase is often pre-planned.
Narcissists are known for being master manipulators. As such, it’s not uncommon for them to plan the discard phase in advance. This allows them to execute their plan flawlessly and leave you feeling completely blindsided.
The discard phase is often pre-planned by the narcissist in order to create maximum drama and chaos. They may even deliberately try to push your buttons so that you react in a negative way, giving them more ammunition to use against you during the discard.
4. It’s a way for narcissists to relieve their own boredom or insecurity.
For narcissists, relationships are all about power and control. They’re often bored by their partners once they’ve been “conquered” and discard phases allow them to feel a sense of excitement and progress again.
Additionally, some narcissists discard their partners in order to deal with their own insecurity or fear of being abandoned.
5. It’s often followed by a hoovering phase.
After discarding you, many narcissists will attempt to “hoover” you back into their lives. This is done by trying to win your affection and make you believe that they’ve changed or that the relationship can be salvaged if only you try harder.
However, it’s important to remember that this type of manipulation is just another way for the narcissist to exert control over you. If you find yourself drawn back into a relationship with a narcissist, it’s best to cut ties and move on.
The discard phase can be an extremely painful and traumatic experience, both emotionally and mentally. It can leave you feeling worthless, undeserving of love, and questioning your entire self-worth.
However, with time and healing, you can gradually begin to heal from this painful experience and move on from the discard phase stronger and wiser than before.
If you’ve been discarded by a narcissist, know that you’re not alone. These dark truths behind the discard phase may be difficult to hear but it’s important to remember that you’re not at fault.
Narcissists are master manipulators and their actions are not a reflection of your worth as a person. By taking steps to heal and move on, you can begin to rebuild your life without the influence of a narcissist.